I Was Preoccupied with My Flaws, Then God Moved
Zaneta, 46, Louisiana, USA
While reading recently, the Holy Spirit instructed me to make two lists: one of the things I love about myself and second containing things I dislike about myself. I’ve always struggled with self-hate, so I was nervous, but I put my book down and obeyed. When I got about halfway through the first list, God told me to write “God loves me” right at the top. Moved and tearing up, I wrote it down.
As I began crafting my list of dislikes, I realized just how much I’d disliked and mistreated myself. Immediately, I heard Him say, “I will help you with everything on this list. It won’t be easy, but this tough time you’re in right now is part of the process.” I broke down. I cried, truly, from the depths of my soul.
I realized that I’d become so fixated on my issues that I’d lost sight of Him — and because of that, I’d accepted poor treatment from others and myself. Fortunately, I finally realized that God and His love were so much bigger than the things I hated about myself. Unlike me, God wasn’t preoccupied with the “good” and “bad” parts of me — His love for me is unconditional! His love is so great that He went to the Cross for my sake. And through the workings of the Holy Spirit, He would sanctify me, as promised: “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). The “good” parts and the “bad” parts — all of it would be made right, not by power, but by His.
In showing me the depths of His love for me, God gave me the ability to finally forgive myself and see myself as He sees me. I now focus not on my “flaws,” but on living in holiness and obedience to our Almighty God!
“To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— 25 to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.” (Jude 1:24)