I Suffered Miscarriage after Miscarriage. Then, God Moved.

Four years into our marriage, my husband and I decided to start a family. Only four weeks after I got off of birth control, I found out that I was pregnant! My husband and I could hardly believe it. At six weeks gestation, the ultrasound detected a heartbeat. We were shocked by how quickly it was all happening, but we were elated! Our family was growing.

Only a month later, everything changed. I went in for another ultrasound, only to find that our baby still measured six weeks — and there was no heartbeat. I was heartbroken. Desperate to feel better, I focused all of my attention on trying again. I truly believed that another pregnancy was all I needed. Three months later, I was pregnant again…but only a week later, I bled. My second miscarriage.

Although my second loss was quicker, it was even harder than the first. It felt as if my last remaining spark of hope had been extinguished. I remember sitting in my office at work, just sobbing. I cried as quietly as I could and tried to regain my composure whenever anyone approached. I didn’t want to appear “weak,” but being “strong” just wasn’t an option. Fortunately, as I quickly learned, God’s “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).  

In the weeks after the loss, God made His presence known. I experienced the truth of Psalm 147:3, which tells us that God draws near to the brokenhearted. As I began to heal, the Lord called me to change my beliefs about children. Like many, I’d always viewed kids as something to check off a list. I figured I’d have them when my career slowed down or whenever I got bored. But as God showed me, children are not objects or accomplishments; they’re blessings from the Creator Himself. Humbled, I repented of my old mindset and began surrendering my family and plan to God. I still battled doubts and fears, but God repeatedly showed me that I could trust Him. 

I got pregnant only three months later. Despite my past losses, I felt total, pure joy! I had horrible morning sickness, but I saw that sickness for what it was: a reminder of my growing baby…my precious gift from God. 

At 20 weeks gestation, I asked a friend whether she thought I was having a boy or a girl. Smiling, she told me that God had recently given her a clear vision of my husband and me raising a baby boy. When I asked my mom to guess, she said something similar: God had sent her a vivid dream of me holding a baby boy. I teared up both times, because I knew something they didn’t: I’d found out the gender four weeks ago! This was incredible confirmation that God was listening to our prayers. He was indeed blessing us with a healthy baby boy.

When my husband and I began comparing baby names, we kept coming back to one: Jesse. When I finally looked up the meaning, I found that it means “gift.” Again, God had a plan! Jesse was born happy and healthy on April 27, 2014. Since then, we’ve been blessed with two more beautiful gifts from God: precious baby girls. Scripture tells us that “every good and perfect gift comes from God” and my three children are exactly that.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)