After Leaving the Church in My Teens, I Heard the Lord Tell Me to Seek the Real Him

I stopped going to church in my teens. I’d never heard the Gospel; I only knew Christianity the religion. When I left, I surrounded myself with dudes who were surrounded by girls. I, too, wanted girls’ attention. Like every guy, I craved love and affection. And moreso, I wanted to lose my virginity. I didn’t know it, but with every attempt to have sex, I was trying to fill a void. I tried and failed with girl after girl. I was good looking, popular, and went after women who I knew were interested. But every time we neared sex, they’d change their mind. Looking back, I can see that Jesus was blocking me from further damage, but at the time, I was so confused. 

When I did eventually lose my virginity at age 19, I immediately felt convicted. It was so weird, because I’d been wanting sex for so long. But now that I’d done it, I had this overwhelming feeling that I’d done something wrong. Around this time, I also developed a deep desire to find out the truth about God. But because of past misunderstandings and deception regarding the faith, I kept living in sin and didn’t really seek Him at all. 

Then, at age 20, I met the Lord while driving. I was on the road at around 10:30pm when I was suddenly overcome with nausea. As I opened my door to puke, I randomly prayed. “God help me,” I said. He healed me in a split second. The sickness vanished. I was moved by the experience, but it wasn’t until a year later, when I heard Jesus speak to me loudly and clearly, that I fully turned to Him. His words that day were simple: “Seek the truth about me.” So, I did.

As I grew in faith, the Lord changed me from the inside out. Before Jesus, my struggle with lust was a losing battle; I was masturbating to porn three or four times a day. I even masturbated at work. I “loved” porn — but eventually, I realized that I loved Jesus more and that my freedom had been won on the Cross. With time, and a few relapses, the Lord gave me the strength to stop. It’s been six years since I had sex and two since I’ve masturbated. I won’t be sexually active again until I’m married. 

I’ve finally found the love that I was so desperately searching for — not in a “perfect” woman, but in Christ. And that love has freed me. Before, I was blind to the truth of His love, as so many are. And even after coming to faith, the enemy tried to blind me, but God has used that warfare for my good. Jesus is using me to break the generational curse on my family. He’s using me to set a new standard and bring my family to Him. He is doing a new thing!

Friends, Jesus is your answer. Sin can’t fill you. Another person can’t fill you. But, Jesus can. He alone can set you free.