In the Wake of Tragedy, God Turned My Grief Into A Mission

[as told to Then God Moved editor Adira Polite]

2014 started off great. I was signed to a label and had just put out new music; everything was going well, until it wasn’t. First, my grandmother died. Not long after, I suffered the loss of a man who was like a father to me. These two deaths shattered me. Then, just as I was beginning to get my bearings, my best friend, Thomas — my guitarist, who’d been on tour with me — was killed by a drunk driver. I was knocked right back down to the ground. 

As if the personal losses weren’t enough, I also began to lose out professionally. Absolutely everything was crumbling to dust, or so it seemed. I doubted myself and, more dangerously, I doubted God. My faith entered onto very, very shaky ground. My burden grew heavy, quickly…so heavy that I couldn’t hide it. More than once, I broke down mid-performance and had to run off stage. At one point, out of sheer hopelessness, I decided to stop making music altogether.

I still had a few contracts that I couldn’t get out of, so I figured I’d fulfill my final obligations, then leave the industry. But, about four months after Thomas passed, I began to feel the Lord calling me to speak up about his tragic death. It was a gentle push; I knew it was from Him. I obeyed and, just like that, God began using my platform, which I was ready to toss away, to warn people about drunk driving.

By using me in this way, God restored my sense of purpose. My music was much bigger than me, now; it was a God-given ministry. On top of giving me a new mission, the Lord also created something good and fruitful out of what appeared to be a senseless tragedy. 

God is so good. Even in our darkest moments, He’s there; as He says, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). We can take Him at His Word — I’m telling you, He keeps His promises.