I Thought I Knew God, Until I Failed to Defend Him

I grew up surrounded by faith. Christianity was everywhere; it was in my family, church, friends, and school. I arrived at college thinking I knew it all — I was “good to go.” Because I thought I knew Him, I was more than comfortable putting Him on the backburner. My goals became my god. Then, I spent a semester in Costa Rica. I found myself surrounded by people from all over the world, and as a result, I also found myself needing to articulate and defend my beliefs. But, to my surprise, I couldn’t! I was stuck. I did not know what or why I believed. I had nothing to say; I knew it and so did the people who’d challenged me.  

The truth was that, though I’d supposedly “surrendered” to God in my youth, I did not know Him. My life depended on me; it was not His, it was my own. But, I knew the truth: Christ was all I needed. So, I decided to truly pursue Him. When I got back to the States, I visited a new church in my hometown. When the first worship song began — “All I Have is Christ” — I broke down in tears. I wept, uncontrollably, and people watched, but I didn’t care. My passion for Christ, which had been stifled and silenced by idolatry, was overwhelming. It hit me that the Lord had provided opportunities for me to share the gospel with people from across the world, but because I’d stepped away from Him and His word, I was unprepared. I had failed Him. I resolved to surrender my life, truly, this time.

As I pressed into Christ and His church, I realized that He was so much bigger and better than the things I could see. The bigger, God-sized picture was — and is — AMAZING! The fire that ignited in me then remains aflame to this day. It can be challenging to actually live out my faith; it’s always in my heart, but sometimes it fails to remain in my head. Regardless, it is always there; this faith is who I am. So, no matter the cost, I wish to spread the truth and love of Christ to the ends of the earth. And, in Christ, we the church are capable of such; as Acts 1:8 promises, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” We have God-given purpose.

In carrying out this purpose, the Lord has given me unique gifts. Post-college, I struggled to find a sense of calling in a 9-5 corporate job; it turns out, my calling was elsewhere. So, I quit in favor of my blog, Chica Confident. As a full-time blogger, I now interact with women across the globe. And, as I do so, I remain determined to reflect Christ’s love! This is my mission field.

Readers, take heart: God has a unique plan for you. I encourage you to surrender to His will. I promise: if you trust in Him, He will rock your world.